maRtiN’s cUbicLE: The Chronicles of “Being Grown Up” and “Growing Up”…

eniwei, abis baca2 blog orang… baca blog cynthia yg postnya tentang hedonistic gtu… hahaha gw jadi ngerasa akhir2 ini gw hedonist banget… beneran mood study gw blom balik2 nih… gahwatz… udha week5 lagi… gw list atu2 deh… BGS mayan lah masi baca2 coz we have this quiz every week, jadinya ya mau ga mau kudu mau baca… TWC mati dah boring gila… pengen tidur gw tiap kelas si stefano perlusz ituw… mana assignmentnya susah pula… CT okeh lah y, cuz there’s no reading n kelasnya juga fun… oh n btw for CT individual essay, i made one with "blogging" as its topic… hahhaa… gatau deh gimana kabar nilainya tuh essay… STATS nah ini dia bener2 dah gw ngga ngerti nih prof atu ngajar apaan… he’s just going on and on lecturing based on his ppt slides… he’s a new prof who was just moved from nus this term… mana textbook yg dia pake beda ndiri lagi… mahal gila n dia ga perna refer to that textbook… gw bingung gimana kudu mulai blajar… ppt slides dia ga jelas, textbooknya ajubileh apalagi dah amit2… trus ECONS so far so good… plus AS yg ngeselin susah banget…

so yeah intinya gw bingung kudu gimana… i mean, abis baca itu blog langsung dah gw ngadep ke ppt slides stats with its book wide open di depan gw… tetep aj i dunno what i’m studying… ppt slides dia bener2 synonymous ama list rumus2… gw jadi bingung d… hahaha… i mean, gw butuh understandingnya dulu, nah baru rumus2nya… i once learned this stats before at IB math HL… mungkin ngga se-deep ini yah, but mostly udh ada smua sih… normal distribution, poisson distribution, pdf, cdf, etc etc… but the problem is…… DULU UJIAN MATH HL PAKE KALKULATOR CANGGIH TI-83 BOS…! tinggal masukin angka2 pencet tombol2 beres dah… nah emang ntar boleh pake scientific calculator gitu ujian nih subject atu? mana boleh kan?

just flashing thru pictures in my pictures folder… dari foto kita2 masi cupu2nya ampe foto baru kmaren2… characterbuilding camp… artsportfest… foto2 narsis… foto di mal… foto kelas… foto di dorm… foto2 norak… ampe foto2 gak jelas…

wah ga kerasa udh stenga taon lulus sma… trus pada mencar2… ada yg masi di indo… ada yg masi taon terakhir di PH… ada yg nglanjutin ke UPH… ada yg ke monash… ada yg skarang di japan… ada yg di malay… BANYAK banget yg ke US… banyak juga yg di aussie… ada yg di UK… ada yg ke cina… ada yg di german… ada yg di canada… ada juga yg ke singapore… ada yg berkarir jd pro singer juga… ada yg susah banget dihubungin… ada yg FSnya last login 2weeks…

u might wonder what the hell cognitare is… well, it’s a business case cca in smu… i know, u might straight away get the impression of geeks mugging cracking business case there… hahaha… wrong… instead, i saw those ppl as smartass geniuses, yet they’re still sort-of-speak ‘humanly alive’… to sum up, they’re bright… okey… so these bunch of ppl annually held a business case competition… to crack a case n present them in front of the judges… yay… sounds like fun… lol…

so despite my cramped tight schedule with all those works n assignments, out of nowhere i joined this competition… it’s a team competition, so my team was me, yong, lius, n erwin… hahaha yerrite erwin! erwin saudara-saudara! skali lagi ah, ERWIN! ok enough… hahaha… buat yg lagi baca ini blog dgn tampang mlongo, disclaimer: i also dunno why i joined this team… yg ngajakin gw lius, but gw ngga ngeh klo ternyata lius ya diajakin ama erwin… duh!

eniwei, so yeah the competition kicked off with a workshop on how to crack a case… on one of the exercises, our team successfully estimated how many badminton rackets will sell in indonesia n how many revenues will the company earn if the company were to enter indonesia badminton racket market… so yeah, a good start i thought… hahaha… but the worst is yet to come…

we were given the case at about 7.30pm… n allocated 15 hours to analyze n crack the case… fun eh? overnighting at school from fri night to sat morning to crack a case, spent weekend having fun with my fabulous team… hahaha u bet… awal2 masi bisa ketawa2 lah… dunia masih terasa indah… eh lama2… by 1am, when we already planned that we were supposed to start making the ppt slides, we haven’t even come up with the same understandings of the case… malah ada yg ngotot minjem 6 books dari library which ended up ngga kepake… yah lo tau lah siapa… hahaha… saking udh gedegnya, team kita kaya sekumpulan orang gila di sel penjara lah… by 4am, ada yg tinggal make boxer ama baju doang, ada yg udh tiduran di bench depan kelas (ironically, the class mentioned is supposed to be Msc. for wealth management class, meaning master degree class, a.k.a kelasnya orang-orang elit)… gila dah pokoknya…

n akhirnya dengan slides setengah jadi n understandings yg ngga ketemu ke satu titik terang, jm 7an kita mencar balik ke rumah masing2… buat mandi n siap2 gitu lah, cuz by 10.30 the ppt was supposed to be emailed to cognitare n by that very time the team was supposed to gather at school… gw sempet tidur around 15mins i think… yong (which home is at woodlands) was overslept at MRT on his way back home bablas ampe jurong east… trus ada yg ngga balik juga, untuk alasan yg gw aja ngga tau ampe skarang… yah lo tau lah siapa… hahaha…

okeh, finally slides were finished around 1minute before deadline… kita smua udah kumpul di skolah… with formal attire lengkap ama dasi n some of us pake jas… keren punya lah pokoknya… hahaha… trus presentasi deh… n damn damn damn… awal2nya oke lah… ampe akhirnya lancar2 aj… baru deh pas QnA… dihajar bener ama juri2nya sangar gila… "how u want to advertise and sell this product to the low-end market?"… "u were saying that acquisition is the optimal strategy, so u think that companies like l’oreal which wants to enter a new market should always take over local companies?"… u know that kind of a thing…

sampe akhirnya ada satu judge, who is orang indo cewe, who is a member of cognitare, who we all didn’t even know who the hell she is, yg bilang something like this pas akhir2 QnA…
"let me make this clear for them (ngomong ke juri2 laennya)… (ngarahin pandangan mata ke kita) u are all indonesian right? (ngangguk2 kitanya)…… kalian itu yah… (loh kok dia ngomong pake bahasa indo? batin kita) dari tadi bilang sell sell, tapi sell pake apa? (CREP… yaq mulai nancep dah…) apa mau jual lewat supermarket? atau dititipin ke warung2? (CREP lagi…) ato pake gerobak sekalian datengin customer satu per satu? (CREP CREP CREP… duh sakit…) Terus kalian itu tadi contradict ur own point… kalian bilang acquisition itu optimal, trus pas ditekan ama juri kalian malah bingung dan contradict point kalian sendiri… (CREP lagi… trus salah satu dari kita ada yg ngomong… "iya kita juga sebenernya not very sure klo acquisition itu the best way sih… jadi under pressure tadi kita jadi makin ngga sure") nah walaupun kalian ngga yakin, jangan pernah nunjukin bahwa kalian ngga yakin di depan juri… (n the list went on… makin nancep dah pokoknya…)

in the end, keluarlah kita… lesu… i know what she said is correct n really true, but is that no better way to deliver them to us… n worse still, one of my teammate masi ada yg comment, "lo tadi salah sih <nama one of us - sensor>… mestinya jangan contradict point kita di depan juri…" yah lo tau lah gitu lah… n the rest of us were all like… wtf…

moral pengalaman ini… jangan deh pokoknya jangan jangan jangan pernah ikut cognitare business case competition klo ngga ada team dynamics… oh n haram hukumnya lo ikut cognitare with all year one students within ur team… n amit2 dah klo lo ampe kepikiran ikut cognitare when u have a whole stack of homework to be done on ur weekend… for me, sekali aja udha cukup dah… nyesel gw… capek ati, capek pikiran, capek fisik… balik2 hari sabtunya gw langsung tepar 16hours straight… n masi tetep aj capek…

my point here: dude, what’s the use of such things in the holy quest of pursuing bachelor of business management degree??? bakal guna apa??? DOH! i still dunno why many things studied in the world is sometimes absurd… i mean, look at AS… n TWC (where we learn innovation, its patterns n shits…)

got irritated easily… yup, that’s what i’m feeling lately these days… i dunno… seems like the "old me" come back again to me… i know i’m moody… banget malah… i can laugh like mad in one minute n suddenly become so quiet in the next minute… my feeling changes over simple things…

dari dulu gw emang moody… puncak2nya pas di ph… grade12 deh… cuman simple things doang padahal… masalah dorm wall magazine… i also got irritated over this one hyperactive human back in high school… trus juga ama ppl yg ngga care… n with those yg terlalu care (baca: backstabbers)… haha… but the "moody me" once again come back…

n again it’s over simple things… i dunno if this things bakal buat ppl ngerasa irritated juga, but i personally feel so… sebenernya dari kmaren malem sih… which emang bener2 ngeselin… but anyway, puncaknya tuh this night pas lagi dinner… there was this person yg ngomong ke gw something like "gile martin, buku stats lo tebel banget… titlenya ’statistics for managers‘ lagi… gile serem2… susah sih stats-b BEDA lah… lebih jago lah…"

n it doesn’t stop right there… pas abis dinner, n gw mo pulang ke apt, it was raining… n pas nyebrang gw cuek aj gitu nyebrang… gw cuek aj ujan2an… it’s been years since the last time gw ujan2an n gw pikir ntar balik juga gw bakal mandi, so it won’t matter anyway… n this person commented something like "gile martin kuat banget ujan2an…" again gw diem aj… batin gw "TOKAI banget sih luw… emang lo ujan2an bakal mati apa? lo kena aer ujan serasa kesirem aer keras apa? lagian itu juga cuma nyebrang jalan doang? PENTING YAH COMMENT LO???"

yah begitulah… anyway it’s honestly what i’m feeling right now… tumpahan emosi immature teenager… hehehe… plus gw belom juga click ama second term… having class everyday tuh rasanya males banget… hehe… masi berantakan nih… stats pusing… TWC ngga jelas… AS apalagi… duh besok kelas pagi lagi… duh besok ada AS lagi… aaaarrrghh…. duh tolonggg… stop this moody mode please… anyone…

thus, with that stupid rules, so far i’ve gotten: CT (Creative Thinking); Introductory Statistics B; Introductory Economics; AS (Analytical Skills); n a make-up BGS (Business Government n Society) classes this saturday (6th Jan)… let’s just take a quick glance… CT with Prof Margaret Chan is kinda okay n interesting enough… Stats with Prof Kwong Koon Shing is kinda boring… hahaha… he’s a new prof just moving from NUS right at the start of this term… i guess that explains… lol… then… Intro Econs with Prof Carol Cabal is kinda slack… hehehe… she’s one slack professor who gives long breaks n early class finish to students… good2… yet i heard that her exam is hard… AS is taught by a british prof named John Williams… u’ll get his image if u pictured an older version of Mr.Bean with an apparent alcoholic addiction… hahas… his class is kinda… i dunno… it’s similar to TOK… n i don’t really like evaluating arguments n stuffs… then the last one was BGS with Prof Francis Pavri n it’s just okay i think…

well despite the cramped tight schedule i got for this term, the good thing is that i have two classes in which there are some other indonesian students inside… those are Intro Econs n BGS classes… finally i have some indo classmates after completing the first term without having any… n it’s not just one or two… it’s like 4 ppl in Econs n 5 ppl in BGS… nevertheless, out of those five classes i’ve attended, the groups allocation is all done by the profs and/or their TAs… well, why oh why???? last term when i barely got any indo classmates, only LTB group got allocated by the prof… why shud now the profs allocate us???

well that shows again that life’s UNFAIR… hahaha… but i know it’s immature… i mean, to look at unfairness of this life at the wider perspective, i think i shud’ve been thankful for everything i am now… moreover with the growing numbers of accidents n natural disaster around us… the missing Adam Air aircraft which up till now is still somewhere out there… all the floods n other catastrophe… hot mud n gas that are still flowing out at Sidoarjo (East Java)… even the same hot mud was appearing in Jambi…… the world IS GETTING OLD n we all have to face it… have u ever pictured that what happened in science fiction movies like "The Day After Tomorrow" or even the newer "Nihon Chinbotsu (The Sinking of Japan)" is now happening slowly but sure to this earth we living in? well… doomsday is coming with each n every new sunrise… n we all will be damned… lol…

but before that, let’s take a look back to approximately 365 days ago, to one of my blog post, dated jan 04 2006, titled "2006: 361 days remaining…" here’s the link to the post… on that last nu year post, i was wondering of where will i be at the next year-end blast… i was also thinking that by the end of 2006, i will be in somewhere in other school, parting with sph friends… huehehe… n finally by last night, that question was answered: i spent my nu year’s eve wondering around spore, searching panicly for my lost laptop…

yep… i lost my laptop for about 2 hours on that new year’s eve… n what’s worse, there was S$10,000 inside that laptop bag buat bayar tuition fee, rent room, ama daily needs… so here’s the story… gw balik ke sg tuh naek lufthansa which landed here at about 11pm (sg time)… trus bareng2 ama yenni n erlina (who both stay like 200 meters away from my residence) i boarded a taxi from T2 changi… gw taro tas laptop gw di deket kaki gw at the front passenger seat… n pas turun di depan peace mansion (apartment gw), i forgot that i put my laptop disitu… kan gw cape n ngantuk juga gitu… jadinya gw turun dari taxi cuma bawa koper gede gw ama backpack… sampe2 di kamar, gw baru nyadar klo tas laptop gw kaga ada!

panik, gw nelpon yenni… n eventually they dropped off from the taxi already… duh… n then yenni told me to call 100 to ask for changi passenger service n transcab telephone number… trus gedegnya tuh pulsa gw bisa2nya pas bgt abis… damn… then i ran to the nearest 7eleven, yg ternyata pas banget keabisan voucher top-up starhub… trus gw lari ke another 7eleven… n untungnya mereka punya tuh voucher…

after i topped-up my card, gw nelpon n transcab… which lamaaaaaaaaaa banget ga diangkat2… n then… bunyi fireworks terdengar dari esplanade… happy freaky new year to me… selamat, anda melewati malam tahun baru dengan deg-degan kehilangan laptop n a whole lot of money… haha… trus, still in panic, i ran to the nearest taxi stop… meanwhile, i called yenni, asking her to help me call both the transcab or the changi passenger service… n then i boarded on one of the transcab… pas gw mo nyuruh itu sopir taxi buat calling ke operator dia lewat pagingnya, eh malah telpon gw yg dari tadi ga nyambung2 itu dengan sukses nyambung… jadilah gw buat loss report ke operator taxi itu… trus dia paging-in taxi2 gtuw… nanyain ada tas laptop ketinggalan gtu ga di taxinya… after 3 sets of paging without any positive answer, i felt hopelessly dead…

eventhou operator tadi promised that she’ll keep paging n will call me if my laptop was found, gw mikir another solution… akhirnya i decided to go to changi… sesampenya disono, gw ke tempat tadi gw naek taxi naas itu n tanya sama uncle2 disitu… i explained the situation n asked them whether or not they keep track of the coming n boarding taxis from that place… n ternyata they didn’t… trus i went to the police station @ changi… make an official loss report there… gw mikir "duh mati gw… gimana klo ga ketemu…" cause more importantly than the laptop is the singdollars there…

n finally, in the midst of my hopelessness n silent whispering prayers, yenni called me… she said klo operator transcab nya udha nelpon ke dia, delivering the good news… jd ternyata yenni juga udha berhasil nyambung ke transcab nya… tapi masi deg-degan juga gw… masi ada ga tuh duitnya… huhuhu… n ternyata orang singapore emang jujur2… duit n laptopnya masi utuh… huehehe… langsung deh gw ke sofia hostel buat ambil tuh barang naas…

hduh2… ngga lagi2 deh kelupaan gitu… amit2 dah… thanks bangget buat yenni ama erlina yg bantuin gw temuin nih laptop… hehe… dipikir2 tolol banget yah gw bisa ketinggalan benda sepenting ini… anyway, thanks God banget ini benda ketemu… coba klo ngga… mo ngomong apa gw ama bonyok gw… duhduhduh… ngga lagi2 deh… amit2… hahaa…

with no important things occurred to me in this holiday to jot down here, guess i’ll write bout my conversation with kucing waktu itu… mmmmm… bingung mo mulai dari mana… banyak yg bisa ditulis n gw bingung gimana nulisnya nih… ummm… well, we mainly talked about future… it’s kinda strange talking bout future… cuz biasanya kita ngomongin bout the past, with all its gud ol’ times instead of the bleak future… hahaha… but yeah, we did talk bout future that night…

it was mostly bout MY future… it scares the hell outta my ass… i kinda not sure of what will i be in the future… i mean, with my academic life now at SMU, surely i’ll at least be someone working at commerce n business… yet, there are lots of ways to define businessman… u can be a successful businessman owning several companies with huge proportions of shares, but in a same time u may not be a happy person living in a happy family… n that’s precisely what freaks me out…

at first i just want to be rich… i wanna own huge numbers of shares in several big companies, sit back n relax, enjoying all that i’ll get… but then, facing reality, i realized that there is always a steep hard way for everyone to get there… n that way will surely eats me up, both time n energy… and when u are on that way will u have to sacrifice ur quality time, maybe for urself or even quality time with ur family…

sempet juga gw mikir, "am i on the right way?"… "is the life i’m living right now meant to be my way of life?"… cuz jujur aja gw sangsi ama my future as a businessman… sometimes gw takut… hahaa… well, u know, everything can happen in a business context… even ppl sometimes dare to do the most evil thing to win over their rivals in business… u might say "cemen lo tin", but i’m sure those businessmen had had that kind of feeling deep within their thoughts…

What i’m trying to say is that there are other professions as good as businessman in life, n am i right to set my future as a businessman…? Take this real life example… gw kenal seorang dokter… dia dokter spesialis pencernaan gtuw dhe… dulu dia operasi gw pas gw kena radang usus buntu… n this man is really a rich, happy, n dedicated man… yah lo tau lah dokter spesialis gtuw skali operasi aj dapet brapa duit… udha gtuw dokter ini tuh berhati baek (ceilah bahasanya)… tapi beneran dhe… he likes to help the needy ones… even katanya ada yg ga mampu gtu operasi, dibayarin biaya operasinya ama dia n malah dikasi bantuan duit segala… lo bayangin aj tuh udha tajir, baek pula… heaven welcomes him with arms wide open…! hahaha… n that’s precisely what i call "living life to the fullest, being happy in ur life n sow good deeds for ur afterlife"

yah bgitulah… u might think "halah, sok mikir kejauhan lo tin… skarang aj masi semester 1… pikirin kuliah dulu sono…!" but then it comes back as one big thing which is connected to each other… i mean, what i’m doing now will surely affects what i’ll be in the future… n satu lagi yg gw masi ga abis pikir… WHY DID I PICK SMU? hahaha… beneran deh… klo sampe2 tuh anak2 yg pada ngambil college di US bisa transfer ke UC Berkeley gtu… gw salib kebalik tuh anak2… awas aj… ahahaha…

so yeah, di jakarta ampe tgl 12 (ya i know it’s pretty short, my parents unimportantly wanted me to go back home as if there’s some urgent matters goin on)… sempet maen2 ke PH, met with teachers n staffs n juniors… ngobrol2 ampe koprol… hehe… udh puas2in tapi blom puas ktemu ama diera seti sammy… kurangg!!! pengen yg laennya juga!! huaaa…

in the end, akhirnya balik ke rumah… yah gitulah, ended up the same things i was always doing when i went back home pas liburan di PH dulu… tidur pules enak puas ampe siang, makan kenyang biadab ga aturan, jalan2 muter2 ama temen2, pokoke wenak lah… hahaha… gw jadi mikir "wah gini toh rasanya anak kuliahan overseas waktu balik ke indo"… hahaha… but on the other side, banyak juga yg gw kangenin di indo… salah satunya INTERNET!

finally… all my grades were out… as i’ve mentioned, i already got a shitty B for comms (o yeah i’m still pissed with that) n A for biz law… the other two were also surprising as the first two ones… masa gw dapet A di FA n dapet B+ buat LTB… bingung gw… pas pertama ngeliat tuh dua grades, gw cengo bentar trus garuk2 pala ambil mikir "ketuker kali yah"… huehehe… masalahnya gw pikir bakal dapet at least A- buat LTB n didn’t expect at all for FA to exceed B (concerning the disastrous final exam)… huhuhu… guess i have to thank the "bell curve system" used by SMU… huhuhu… in a nutshell, my GPA for this first term, klo gw itung2 jadi (4+4+3.3+3)/4 = 3.575… huehehehehe… target gw yg 3.5 tercapai juga… huhuhu… agak ngepas sih, but thank God anyway i made it… huhuhuhu…

recent things… ummm… biz law grade was out… ended up getting an A… pretty surprised with that, since my prediction was somewhere along A- to B… even preparing myself to get lower than that line, like B- or something… hohoho… looks like the final exam kinda lift the whole thing up… hehehe… one tip for everyone struggling with biz law for the next term: write ur very own chapters summaries in english (since the textbook cannot be comprehended as ‘english’, so u have to ask urself, "now, what’s that in ‘english’?", if u know what i’m talking about… hahaha)… cuz i found making summaries is substantially very very useful…! hahaha… okay back to topic, with that in hand, so far i got one A from biz law and one fcukin shitty B from comms… wondering how’s FA n LTB… huhuhu… will my GPA be at least 3.5?? i sincerely pathetically do hope so… hahaha…