maRtiN’s cUbicLE: The Chronicles of “Being Grown Up” and “Growing Up”…

with no important things occurred to me in this holiday to jot down here, guess i’ll write bout my conversation with kucing waktu itu… mmmmm… bingung mo mulai dari mana… banyak yg bisa ditulis n gw bingung gimana nulisnya nih… ummm… well, we mainly talked about future… it’s kinda strange talking bout future… cuz biasanya kita ngomongin bout the past, with all its gud ol’ times instead of the bleak future… hahaha… but yeah, we did talk bout future that night…

it was mostly bout MY future… it scares the hell outta my ass… i kinda not sure of what will i be in the future… i mean, with my academic life now at SMU, surely i’ll at least be someone working at commerce n business… yet, there are lots of ways to define businessman… u can be a successful businessman owning several companies with huge proportions of shares, but in a same time u may not be a happy person living in a happy family… n that’s precisely what freaks me out…

at first i just want to be rich… i wanna own huge numbers of shares in several big companies, sit back n relax, enjoying all that i’ll get… but then, facing reality, i realized that there is always a steep hard way for everyone to get there… n that way will surely eats me up, both time n energy… and when u are on that way will u have to sacrifice ur quality time, maybe for urself or even quality time with ur family…

sempet juga gw mikir, "am i on the right way?"… "is the life i’m living right now meant to be my way of life?"… cuz jujur aja gw sangsi ama my future as a businessman… sometimes gw takut… hahaa… well, u know, everything can happen in a business context… even ppl sometimes dare to do the most evil thing to win over their rivals in business… u might say "cemen lo tin", but i’m sure those businessmen had had that kind of feeling deep within their thoughts…

What i’m trying to say is that there are other professions as good as businessman in life, n am i right to set my future as a businessman…? Take this real life example… gw kenal seorang dokter… dia dokter spesialis pencernaan gtuw dhe… dulu dia operasi gw pas gw kena radang usus buntu… n this man is really a rich, happy, n dedicated man… yah lo tau lah dokter spesialis gtuw skali operasi aj dapet brapa duit… udha gtuw dokter ini tuh berhati baek (ceilah bahasanya)… tapi beneran dhe… he likes to help the needy ones… even katanya ada yg ga mampu gtu operasi, dibayarin biaya operasinya ama dia n malah dikasi bantuan duit segala… lo bayangin aj tuh udha tajir, baek pula… heaven welcomes him with arms wide open…! hahaha… n that’s precisely what i call "living life to the fullest, being happy in ur life n sow good deeds for ur afterlife"

yah bgitulah… u might think "halah, sok mikir kejauhan lo tin… skarang aj masi semester 1… pikirin kuliah dulu sono…!" but then it comes back as one big thing which is connected to each other… i mean, what i’m doing now will surely affects what i’ll be in the future… n satu lagi yg gw masi ga abis pikir… WHY DID I PICK SMU? hahaha… beneran deh… klo sampe2 tuh anak2 yg pada ngambil college di US bisa transfer ke UC Berkeley gtu… gw salib kebalik tuh anak2… awas aj… ahahaha…

so yeah, di jakarta ampe tgl 12 (ya i know it’s pretty short, my parents unimportantly wanted me to go back home as if there’s some urgent matters goin on)… sempet maen2 ke PH, met with teachers n staffs n juniors… ngobrol2 ampe koprol… hehe… udh puas2in tapi blom puas ktemu ama diera seti sammy… kurangg!!! pengen yg laennya juga!! huaaa…

in the end, akhirnya balik ke rumah… yah gitulah, ended up the same things i was always doing when i went back home pas liburan di PH dulu… tidur pules enak puas ampe siang, makan kenyang biadab ga aturan, jalan2 muter2 ama temen2, pokoke wenak lah… hahaha… gw jadi mikir "wah gini toh rasanya anak kuliahan overseas waktu balik ke indo"… hahaha… but on the other side, banyak juga yg gw kangenin di indo… salah satunya INTERNET!

finally… all my grades were out… as i’ve mentioned, i already got a shitty B for comms (o yeah i’m still pissed with that) n A for biz law… the other two were also surprising as the first two ones… masa gw dapet A di FA n dapet B+ buat LTB… bingung gw… pas pertama ngeliat tuh dua grades, gw cengo bentar trus garuk2 pala ambil mikir "ketuker kali yah"… huehehe… masalahnya gw pikir bakal dapet at least A- buat LTB n didn’t expect at all for FA to exceed B (concerning the disastrous final exam)… huhuhu… guess i have to thank the "bell curve system" used by SMU… huhuhu… in a nutshell, my GPA for this first term, klo gw itung2 jadi (4+4+3.3+3)/4 = 3.575… huehehehehe… target gw yg 3.5 tercapai juga… huhuhu… agak ngepas sih, but thank God anyway i made it… huhuhuhu…

recent things… ummm… biz law grade was out… ended up getting an A… pretty surprised with that, since my prediction was somewhere along A- to B… even preparing myself to get lower than that line, like B- or something… hohoho… looks like the final exam kinda lift the whole thing up… hehehe… one tip for everyone struggling with biz law for the next term: write ur very own chapters summaries in english (since the textbook cannot be comprehended as ‘english’, so u have to ask urself, "now, what’s that in ‘english’?", if u know what i’m talking about… hahaha)… cuz i found making summaries is substantially very very useful…! hahaha… okay back to topic, with that in hand, so far i got one A from biz law and one fcukin shitty B from comms… wondering how’s FA n LTB… huhuhu… will my GPA be at least 3.5?? i sincerely pathetically do hope so… hahaha…

anyways, it feels kinda odd now… i mean, after all those endless days in one term of studying, reading, projects, presentations, exams, n assignments… my life suddenly feels like EMPTY without them… lol… not that i desperately want them, but it’s just true… haha… i think i’ve became accustomed to those rituals… well, in SMU who hasn’t anyway? hahaa…

so now… what i’m doing are those so-called useless killing-time stuffs before i finally get back to indo on 8th… jalan… makan… DOWNLOAD music… ohmygod, i shud really do something to it… my music folder is now growing to about 12.5GB… that excludes my video folder which sized about 18GB on its own… n those numbers are still counting… hahaaha… but recently i found great music… amber pacific, new single of angels n airwaves, n many more… hahaha… i think i shud buy an external harddrive… hoho…

ummm, i also read book now… novel particularly… it’s funny how, after sick of reading biz law for exam catching-ups, i’ve once  sworn not to even touch book during my holiday… haha… but here i am now reading novel… killing time, ppl… hahaha… i now read dan brown’s digital fortress… well that one is kinda old… i shud’ve picked mitch albom’s new novel (titled… "for one more day", if i’m not mistaken), but then dan brown’s is thicker n that’s what i need for an optimum killing time ammunition… hohoho…

then… oya, i’ve moved to a new place… a rented room @ peace mansion just behind paradiz centre… so near to SMU… just like 10mins walk… haha… tempatnya pewe bangget… lengkap dhe pokoknya… hahaha… $550 per month includes EVERYTHING… literally everything… hahaha… enak bgt dah… sip2… hahaha…

tonite… i was pathetically waiting for biz law grade… prof said that he will post the grade on SMUVista somewhere between late afternoon - evening on 5th dec… but it’s now 2:20a.m on the 6th and we’ve got nothing… well, i think we (G6 LGST101 students) will sue him under the tort of negligence… hahaha…  waiting for grade like this has never been better than the 6th July 2006… hahaha… will never forget that night… 6th July was the day when our IB score came out… the IB server got so crowded that it took HOURS to access it… i ended up chatting with around 20ppl altogether in one conference chat… all pathetically waited to access the IB server… haahaha… i remembered it took like around 6 hours until i got my IB score that very night… hahaha… ohmygod it’s been 5months since then… time really had flied… hahaha… anyways, my grade now SUCKS… so far what i’ve got is only comms grade, in which i got B… damn…