maRtiN’s cUbicLE: The Chronicles of “Being Grown Up” and “Growing Up”…

Have u ever felt so bloody sick of studying?? Not like simply being sluggishly lazy, but being UBER SICK of schoolwork that the thought of it makes u want to puke already… I am experiencing it right this second. No, almost everyday recently. Damn.

So… this term is a new map of hell for me. Currently taking 5.5 credits. And that’s just about the shittiest shit I’ve ever experienced so far. Anyway… this week is the so-called mid-term break. So-called. Supposedly.
Yet everyday I still go to campus, have meetings, n being haunted by
textbook readings n unfinished projects. Not to mention finance midterm
test… Mandarin assessment… CAT proposal… MPW project… MS individual assignment… all due next week… wait a second… that means i have one for each of my 5 modules… oh shit. So much for a break, yeah?

Went to school this morning, having CAT meeting… post-meeting, continued my MS homework as I’m sick of finance already… then my ms excel screwed up on me, n solver won’t run… damndamndamn why things always go wrong when I so need them to work right… no choice, open my finance textbook, digesting this thing called… evaluating cost-cutting proposal… wtf… give up after 5 minutes…

See the thing is, i WANT to optimize my time to study before this so-called break ends, but i’m so BLOODY SICKKK of studying already… HOW HOW HOW???? malah ujung2nya jadi males ngapa2in… dammit…

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Now playing: 30 Seconds to Mars - The Kill
via FoxyTunes    

… i know i haven’t been updating and being online much during this holiday, but i’ve gotten busy of the whole course bidding thingy… but here’s something i found on the net: Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows in RAR file that extractable into pdf format, downloadable via rapidshare… i know that there’s a lot of bogus stuffs around the net these days n i highly doubt that this one is the real thing, but do take a look just for fun… oh n few more things…  i haven’t read the whole thing but i skimmed thru it and there’s Dumbledore inside the last few chapters and i haven’t seen anyone dead just yet other than Voldemort who was killed by Harry’s Avada Kedavra. Enjoy. lol…

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it’s
been weeks without any blog post… partly because of that summer term
marketing course which pretty much took up most of my time, and…
yeah, procrastination i have to admit… just don’t feel like writing
blog in the last couple of weeks…

so
yeah, the summer term was over since last monday… marks hasn’t come
out yet though… i can’t afford to get a B+ or lower since that would
pull my cumulative GPA down, plus it’s  just plain stupid to waste
money and time taking summer term only to pull yourself down… the
freaking 35% quiz was okay albeit lots of trick questions there, n i
felt that my group’s final project was above average… so wish me luck
hohoho…

tomorrow
i’ll be flying back to indo… stay over at jakarta for dunno how many
days before finally going back to my hometown… damn it will be fun
heheheh… just the thought of it made me smile lol… however, despite
the seemingly long and peaceful summer break ahead, i might not get
back to indo for one straight year, provided i do internship/trip for the
upcoming december and another summer term and/or internship for the
next summer…

on a
lighter note, many many albums being released this summer, along with
those summer blockbusters going around… sadly enough, some records
are out-of-expectation… the used’s new CD is mediocre and over-mixed,
some tracks of it sound like panic!at the disco songs… funeral for a
friend’s concept album is doing okay n currently i’m quite attached with some of the
songs… amber pacific’s n circa survive’s are damn catchy… not to
mention michael buble’s n maroon5’s, which are both good…

anyway…
i should get up n start to pack up things… man i feel damn bored…
these past few days were filled with downloading + eating + sleeping +
wandering aimlessly + iTunes-ing + playing flash games! lol i feel so
jobless… haha… will update soon, after reaching home obviously
hahaha… meanwhile, if u’re like bored, go fall in love or
something… it’s a pretty nice feeling although i haven’t yet to feel
it since that last time… hehehe… ciao!

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hmmm…
honestly i don’t really have anything to say now… i’m just kinda…
don’t feel like sleeping hahahah… instead, now i’m listening to good
ol’ ataris n having some thoughts n flashbacks… u know… that kind
of foolish emotional thingy that suddenly pops on ur mind when u sense
things reminding u of another past things… in my case this trigger is
mostly songs…

well
frankly i’m more thinking into my current affairs rather than those
past thoughts… oh n speaking of current affairs, i don’t really into
that virginia tech massacre thingy… yeah i know it is the worst one,
even surpassing that of columbine massacre… but then again, it does
always happen all the time in the states… why? cause ppl can easily
land their hands on guns there… n as for this virginia one, it’s just
one of the many others… out of all the students, it just happen to be
that poor korean bloke getting frustrated being bullied by some rich
fuckers…but don’t get me all wrong… i do feel sorry for that tragedy as well…

my current
affairs… urmm, well… these days have haunted me as the informal
release of term 2 grades is coming… so far i’ve gotten 3 modules’
grades released… n to be honest they are kinda out of my
expectation… just like what i had back in term 1… i don’t expect
such bad grades for my CT n stats… yet i’m flattered n actually quite
pleased with my TWC grade… those things have left me wonder… how on
earth do they actually grade students in SMU? why were modules that i
am quite confidence at actually turned out to pull my cumulative GPA
down? n on the other hand, why did i turn out to get better grades than
i predict for other modules? these 2 terms that i’ve passed still left
me with no clue of how to actually cope up with this whole freaky
university system…

so yeahh… really this one is just a rambling of thoughts… just feel like jotting this one down, so i did…

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soooo… last time i was complaining in my last fs blog post about fs’ stupidity in which they combined their ‘comments’ altogether with ‘testimonials’… having been away from my laptop for like couple of days, i was shocked when i opened this music blog i usually visit on a daily (or perhaps, hourly) basis. fyi, i always visit some music blogs that post full albums of bands that fits my style… blogspot server-ed blogs like imthescene, thescenealbums, n couples of others just like the kinixtion link i posted above… speaking of which, some of u might have clicked on the kinixtion link n wonder where the hell is the music n the albums since there’s only 2 useless posts n one pure white blank background… n that’s exactly why i was shocked the time i opened that blog 20 mins ago…

reading the comments on both posts n consequently opening this forum thread (which, if u scroll to the end u’ll find out the whole story), it seems that kinixtion had been sued for posting albums of eyeball records’ artists on their blog… n what’s more funny of it, eyeball records sued kinixtion for a fixed amount derived from a moronic reasoning that one access to a particular post equals to one album being purchased…!!!

personally, i don’t think that kinixtion is the ultimate wrong party… i found out many great bands through this blog that i wouldn’t have otherwise found… it is the quickest one in terms of updates as compared to other music blogs… n as for me, i did download music from kinixtion, but i did bought cds i think worth buying even though i digitally had them downloaded already…!! i had the new ataris cd with me, new found glory’s coming home album, the used’s berth, n some others… n one other great thing of kinixtion is that they have so many posts ranging from well-known bands like red hot chili peppers up to those out of the blue such that u actually discover great music!!

but then again, i know they infringe the mighty copyright act… they take away people’s royalty… but hey, how much goes to the artists’ pockets off of one cd being sold? they make more money through concerts! n how can they make money through concert? by more people coming to the concerts! n how can more people come to concerts? by having more people aware that the bands exist and that they play good music! n that’s exactly one good thing kinixtion do!!! i, as i’m sure many people do, discover great music from such music blogs!!!

speaking of royalty, copyright, n shits like that, i once read this official myspace blog of funeral for a friend, in which they talk about how they are done with recording their new album which will be released this may, n they say, "…we seriously can’t wait until May for you guys to hear it, or maybe earlier if it leaks on the net (hey, we’re realists!)…" u see… even artists are realists! hohoh… i like these blokes… hahahah…

so yeah… with kinixtion going down, i lose one out of couples of music blog i know… but the journey will always go on… hahahh… leave me a msg if u want the URLs to these blogs i know… hahah… n keep the great-bands-n-music-found-outs continued… hohohoh…

oh n btw, do visit my newly made myspace account here n do add me to ur friend list if u have myspace account… hohohoh…

omg FS is really turning to a bloody stupid thing… last time i opened it (that was the time when i update this blog with this last post),
it still has ‘comments’ separated from ‘testimonials’… but to my
surprise, they combined it together when i opened it just now… on
your profile, it’s now read "Testimonials and Comments for
<your-name-here>"… the first thing that popped up to my brain
was, "what the hell??? so why did last time they introduce ‘comments’ at
the first place?"

up to that point, i still think that it is okay having them combined together… it won’t hurt anyway… so yeah i had three testimonials (which is now regarded just as good as comments, so let’s call this newborn thing ‘commentmonials’) waiting to be approved now… n as what i usually do, i reply testimonials as soon as i get them… so i finished typing to reply metha’s testi… n when i hit the ’submit’ button, the page refreshed itself just to tell me that there is an error because it said "You have reached your maximum allowable comments for this profile"… n i went "what the ff…"

the snapshot of the stupid refreshed page:

so now these genius ppl from FS have cleverly combined comments and testimonials together, and cunningly limit everyone’s allowable amount of commentmonials for anyone else?? what now??? a brilliant way to cut down its server’s overload isn’t it?? bloody stupid fiendster team!!

i’m sooo gonna make a myspace profile… to bad not so many ppl i know using myspace…

after what feels like a lifetime curse, this term is finally over… i’d say that it’s not an exaggeration, taking into account all those lousy project mates (well, some of them ARE, really), some shitty profs with their boring-long-lectures, and the fact that these 6 modules i was taking will surely be the "GPA deflator" for my cumulative GPA… really those 4 exams are fugly horrible (imagine having 120 MCQs in 2 hours for econs n 4 essays with topics form out-of-the-blue-in-the-corner-of-the-textbook for TWC) n i’ve never had enough sleep for the past i-don’t-know-how-many-weeks… i’m pretty relieved by the fact that i am well alive after that 13 hours sleep last night with the thought of freedom after the 15 weeks journey…

anyway… that’s exactly why i never opened fs recently n never update this blog… hahah… really last term was a disaster… all i can do now is just praying that i won’t fall on the end-tail of the bell curve… hohoho… ok let’s see what we’ve missed… ermm… my birthday on march 25… kucing, mini n andri came… literally spent a weekend with them… i know i shud’ve spent time studying but hey come on… who spent their birthday studying anyway?? hohoho… so yeah… we had fun… hmm… thanks to all who remembered n greeted me… what else ya?? the rest is barely filled with project meetings n catching-ups for exams… bener2 kaya gak ada idup hahaha…

n even though this term’s over i won’t go back indo straight away… i’m taking marketing on summer term n i’m quite excited bout it… it’s not the summer term per se which made me excited, but rather the feeling to start a new thing… to commit to a new activity rather than being burdened by this term’s stuff… to finally (i guess) being able to study as well as having real fun here… well at least summer term i’m only taking one module so i thought it won’t be that much of a burden…

hmm… what else…. actually i had a lot to say throughout the hiatus, but forget all those by this point in time… hahah… on a lighter note, my music library is now a staggering 21.17GBs… i really need to buy an external hd for a backup hahaha… oh yea, also went to all the mass throughout the easter week n visiting several catholic churches around school… n that’s also one thing why i lack of time studying… of all the weeks in this year, easter week is on week 14 while the exam is on week 15! anyway again, glad it’s over hahah…

so yeah… just an update to tell i’m still alive hohaohoho… now the time has come for slacking around before summer term kicks in… n i’m really hoping this term doesn’t pull my GPA down… or if it really does, i wish it won’t be too bad… hohoho…

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hmm… long time no blogging… been wanting to post entries these days but yeah u know… i got no time… hahah gaya banget, but that’s true… i got stats midterm next saturday, presentationS (n i mean presentationS with an S) due each n every following weekS for the other 4 modules, ANALytical skills essay (omgwtfbbq haven’t even think about what the hell i am going to do) for week 10… and now here i am in the edge of week 8 still struggling with stats catch-ups… huahhhh…

eniwei talking about statistics… i just can’t stand studying stats… well stats had been easy for years back then when all we need to know is just the good old mean, median, mode… haha that was years back then at secondary school i guess… advancing to high school, it complicated itself with binomial, normal, n poisson distribution… hmm it’s still okay i guess… since that time all 3 of us (out of 5 math higher level geeks - the 2 of em being too smart to even be confused with it, no wonder kevin went to MIT) were struggling together… or at least i felt that 3 of us were in the same boat… i dunno if stella n alfon really did struggle or not, but yeah it just felt better having others whom u can share ur grumbles with…

now? stats sucks ass haha… just when i thought i was over with complicated math once i finished IB, i got stuck even deeper to it in STAT102 (the supposedly-being-the-harder-stats-course-than-STAT101 as ppl said)… oh ya btw that applies to ANALytical skills also… once i thought i was over with good old IB’s Theory of Knowledge but du~h… the cycle repeated itself in this CORE002 module… eniwei back to stats, WHY THE HELL THEY PUT ME IN STAT102? WHY NOT STAT101? U THINK I’M SMART OR WHAT? apparently ppl, i’ve only been able to obtain a grade of 5 out of 7 in my math hl… with lots (n i mean loads) of luck of course hahahas… N IF THAT STILL MADE ME ELIGIBLE BEING IN STAT102, THEN SCREW U OFFICE OF REGISTRAR… i know some econs student (who was supposed to get STAT102 since econs were supposed to deal with lots of statistics - one reason why i don’t really prefer econs) that instead ended up doing STAT101… JUST WHAT WRONG WITH U GUYS IN OFFICE OF REGISTRAR THERE? even worse… i was preassigned in this new prof’s class, apparently just moving from NUS this term… it’s… horrible… i don’t even know wtf he’s teaching hahas…

to illustrate how blur i am following his lecture, i shall quote one bit of his fifth week’s lecture note where he mumbled about the properties of exponential distribution (just what d heck is exponential distribution)… anyway it reads:

the exponential distribution has the property of being memoryless, i.e.
P(X > s+t | X > t) = P(X > s)

despite the alien formula (which i also don’t really know what it talks about hahahas… now u know how stooopid i am), did u notice one strange thing there? well in case u didn’t, let me make it clearer:

the exponential distribution has the property of being memoryless, i.e.
P(X > s+t | X > t) = P(X > s)

there u go… got it? yeah u’re rite… JUST WHAT ON EARTH IS BEING “MEMORYLESS” SUPPOSED TO MEAN? IF THIS EXPONENTIAL DISTRIBUTION IS “MEMORYLESS”, THEN OTHER DISTRIBUTIONS “HAVE MEMORY” HUH? n guess what? he didn’t explain about that so-called memoryless thingy…

oh n btw i NEVER agree with math’s axiomatic rule that probability is countable… i mean, just how come those math geeks can claim that the probability of obtaining a ‘6′ in dice-rolling is 1/6… how if God plays along? how if God made those math geniuses (who once invented the axiom of probability) never ever obtained a ‘6′ in zillions time of rolling a frikin dice? if i were God, i’d made myself clearer: “just how come u mortals can claim that the probability of obtaining a ‘head’ in tossing a fair coin is 0.5? i’ll made your coin-tossing observation resulted in tails for those zillions times experiment of yours… u can’t mess around with the power of immortals mwahahaha…”

now u know why scientists of all sorts (including mathematicians) are generally atheists…

n now u know just why i am not God… LOL…

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humm… in the midst of trying to squeeze my brain doing AS weekly assignment… duh bentar lagi midterms… capek… capek ati capek fisik capek otak… pengen rasanya drop uni gitu ato pindah uni kmana kek ato ga usah uni skalean… huhuuhu… one might think “ah ntar juga pas kerja bakal lebi ribet n hectic dari uni”, but then i had this one singaporean classmate who had worked at standard chartered before she study here at SMU, n she said that SMU itu lebih hectic dari her work before… huahh… gatau d… jadi gak niat…

hmm…

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well… actually i’m testing performancing which i was just downloaded this morning at that stupid boring bgs class… thanks sylvi for telling me this useful thingy… hahaha… it’s actually an add-on to mozilla that allow bloggers to easily link their blog n update them simultaneously with same posts at the same time… huehehe…

Sutiyoso, governor of the city, said that he “could not be held responsible for the worst flood that hit the city of 12 million” and that the flood was a “natural phenomenon”… okay i thought… with the fact that heavy rains fell n all that… kind of natural phenomenon in a sense… but then scrolling down through the article i saw this one statement:

“Sutiyoso, who also was criticized when the city was flooded five years ago, blamed deforestation in the region of Puncak, saying it had destroyed water catchment areas.”

hmmm… weird eh… then scrolling down some more, i found another one… more striking than the previous one:

Authorities issue building permits “even though they clearly violate environmental impact studies,” Witoelar said, according to The Jakarta Post.

nah… there u go… all in all the root of the problem stays the same… the ultimate issue Indonesia is bounded within… CORRUPTION.

trus2 ada lagi tuh yg sutiyoso nya ngomong gini:

“There is no point in throwing abuse around,”…”I was up till 3 a.m. this morning trying to handle the refugees.”

n i was wondering, bisa gak yah gw ngomong gini trus diliput di yahoo!news:

“There is no point in studying bgs,”…”I was up till 3 a.m. this morning trying to gather up my thoughts to study chapter 5.”

anjrit baru up till 3 a.m. aja udah ribut… ckckck… he shud enroll at SMU n see how fun studying here… du~h!

okey, i shall go back to stats… huahhh…

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